Had I merely used the power of my celebrity status as a famous author and radio personality to crudely attack and berate this colossus of Fleet Street, it is doubtful that they would so quickly have surrendered. But by reminding them of their historic role in the development of English literature (see my blog Damned Woman!) and by appealing to their sense of duty and responsibility to literary criticism, I have finally had my book reviewed in the News of the World. I must admit that my current nomination to replace David Souter on the Supreme Court of the United States might also have played a role in the news giant's dramatic about-face.
Unlike other book reviews which appear in snooty la-di-dah journals that are isolated from the lives of ordinary people, my review is surrounded by articles covering fast breaking news of the real world. A typical story from today’s issue concerns TV star Kirstie Allsopp who has been renovating a holiday cottage in a small Devonshire village.
"But the nearest property to her £300,000 house is a sex retreat run by a mistress called Ms Demmie, who specialises in female domination using needles, wax and canes. Strawberry Water looks like any other charming rural cottage. But underneath lies a dungeon complete with cages, whips, ropes, and special bondage beds and benches that are openly displayed in photos on the internet. Ms Demmi - real name Nicola Brown - told us: "Kirstie Allsopp is our next-door neighbour. I don't know what she knows about us. We teach couples how to do S&M. But we're certainly not a secret and we're not ashamed of what we do. We're really busy, so unless you want to book one specific date in May, you're screwed. I only have four days left this month that aren't booked.”
A small victory in truth but one, I modestly think, of which President Obama himself might be proud.
