Supreme Court

I cannot deny the fact that being an international radio celebrity and famous author has its benefits. No more standing in line for me. Whenever I go to Denny’s these days I am shown straight to my table. But there are pressures also; if I were not always careful to wear dark glasses whenever I mix with the general public, I know I would be endlessly badgered by people wanting me to sign their copy of my latest book, Recollections of a Racketeer.

But above all, there is the awesome sense of responsibility which always accompanies public acclaim. Now that I am famous and publicly recognized, I feel an obligation to give something back to Society. So when David Souter announced his retirement and I learned that there will be a vacancy on the Supreme Court of the United States, I immediately called my agent, Andrew Lownie.
“But you’re a racketeer” he objected.
“An ex-racketeer” I corrected him. “I’m retired.”
“But you’re not even a lawyer” he continued.
“Not per-se” I said – throwing out a little legal jargon to confuse him. “But I’ve spent a lot of time in the law library.”
“The prison law library.”
“Whatever.” Sometimes Andrew can be so negative.
“Listen; I want to give something back. I’m a role model now and I need to set a good example for my followers.”
“So you want to become a Supreme Court Justice?”
“Exactly” I said. “Justice Lane. That has a nice ring to it I think.”
Andrew still looked doubtful.
“It will help sell a lot of books” I said. (I understand how agents’ minds work.)
“Let me look into it” he said.